Saturday, March 22, 2014

Snow Nutties on Saturday

The other day, I was walking along, nice as can be, when all of a sudden, it seemed like a really good idea to face plant in the snow.

Why am I doing this?

Now, alert readers know that I am not prone to silliness, so this irresistible urge was quite confounding to yours truly.

Help! I have been overtaken by snow nutties!

Once upon the ground, embraced by the crystalline particles, well, I found myself quite unaccountably rolling and thrashing about and taking no small amount of pleasure in the sensation of the gritty cold against my labraback.

Can.... not.... stop!

It felt GREAT!

Momma! You need to try this!

Eventually, I came back to my senses and did my best to return to an upright position with what grace and dignity I could muster.

Wow! That was crazy!

I can only attribute this unexpected departure from sanity was brought on by an extraordinarily long and cold winter in our part of the world. One does worry if further madness is in store.

Dexter done!

Saturday, March 15, 2014

It's My Business (and nobody else's)

Momma, I wish you wouldn't discuss my private business with your crazy dog lady pals.

Oh, Dexter, lighten up, I'm just trying to figure out if you are unusual in having countless rules about where and when to potty.

Maybe you could do it anonymously from now on. One of your human pals said I suffer from Seasonal Poop Disorder.


It's insulting.

Well, what about this?

This has to be in violation of MA Chapter 272.

I can't believe you took that photo, let alone posted it on the interwebs.

I wanted to demonstrate how, with a perfectly suitable patch of grass close by, you still insist on pooping in a snow bank.

What of it?

Hmmm... I think somedoggie might have pooped here last year.

To be honest, Dex, it's annoying. With the roads clear, I just have on my zoomie shoes and my feet get all wet when I have to pick up your poop in the snow.

That is not my concern and.... WAIT! Put that flashy away right now!

Poop dance interrupted. Now I'll have to start over.

You know, this is starting to feel kind of weird. Don't you worry about the neighbors seeing you photographing my most private moments?

Um, well, not really.

Get a life, lady.

Look! There you go again! Why oh why do you have to poop in the snow? 

Did you really need to bigify this shot?

Maybe if I ignore her she will stop.

Well, Pea, it truly mystifies me. When the world was covered in snow and ice, you were desperate to find even a hint of grass to use for your business and now that there has been melting, it would appear that only snow will do.

This from the woman who will only use stalls #1 or #4 in the human potty room at work. 

Huh? No, no, no, totally different. Hey, how about I take a photo of you looking labradorable.

You can try, but frankly, I'm not really in the mood.

Seasonal Poop Disorder indeed!

Dexter done!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

A Helpful Guide on What to Eat

I have come to learn that some of my pals are what might be described as "fussy eaters."

One can only assume that this is due to confusion regarding what is and is not actual food.

So, I have created this helpful graphic to assist you in determining what constitutes a consumable.

Hope that helps.

Dexter done!

Saturday, March 8, 2014

The Flashy Fail Folder

It happens to all of us. There you are doing something incredibly adorable and photogenic and the foolish human completely misses the shot.

My pal, Garth Riley, inspired me to look through the archives for Flashy Fails. Now, mind you, momma has been very conservative about loading photos onto the computer in an effort to avoid getting a larger hard drive, so most of these are a bit old, but trust me, for every amazing picture of yours truly...

This one is from the time before snow.

There are several that should never see the light of day.

The Absurdly Blurry Action

Maybe less coffee in the morning would steady your hand.

The Weird Foreshortened Body With Scary Close Up

I think she just blinded me with the flashy!

The Partial Body

Stand back! Stand back!

The Unfortunate Football Shaped Noggin

My snooter looks 87 feet long!

The "OMG, I think there's a cookie in my mouth"

The Doggie Porn

Are those my puppy nards?

The Pixelated Action Video Still

Are you feeding him instead of me again? WTF?

How about you? Do you have failed photos hanging around or does your human delete them and pretend they never happened?

Finally, for pals in the US, don't forget to move your clocks forward tonight. Daylight savings time begins tomorrow and just in time because Momma and I are both pretty tired of after dark walkies (and the associated less than stellar photos).

Well, at least I don't have laser eyes. Sigh.

Dexter done!

Monday, March 3, 2014

Monday Night Chewy (with action video)

Every Monday night is chewy night here at our estate. I can tell the time has come because momma puts a chewy blanket down over my bed (my preferred location for enjoying mastication).

Once that blanket is out, well, I can hardly contain myself as you will see in this short movie (sorry about the ad, sigh, one of the pitfalls of using YouTube music - just click it away).

I'm a multi-tasking guy, so I like to use chewy time to practice some of my doga poses. 

Downward facing doggie, that's me!

Hmmm... maybe up close isn't the best photo at the moment. I look a bit stoned.

There is me, there is the chewy, there is nothing more. Nom, nom, nom.

Dexter done!