Saturday, March 15, 2014

It's My Business (and nobody else's)

Momma, I wish you wouldn't discuss my private business with your crazy dog lady pals.

Oh, Dexter, lighten up, I'm just trying to figure out if you are unusual in having countless rules about where and when to potty.

Maybe you could do it anonymously from now on. One of your human pals said I suffer from Seasonal Poop Disorder.

And?

It's insulting.

Well, what about this?



This has to be in violation of MA Chapter 272.


I can't believe you took that photo, let alone posted it on the interwebs.

I wanted to demonstrate how, with a perfectly suitable patch of grass close by, you still insist on pooping in a snow bank.

What of it?





Hmmm... I think somedoggie might have pooped here last year.



To be honest, Dex, it's annoying. With the roads clear, I just have on my zoomie shoes and my feet get all wet when I have to pick up your poop in the snow.

That is not my concern and.... WAIT! Put that flashy away right now!





Poop dance interrupted. Now I'll have to start over.


You know, this is starting to feel kind of weird. Don't you worry about the neighbors seeing you photographing my most private moments?

Um, well, not really.



Get a life, lady.

Look! There you go again! Why oh why do you have to poop in the snow? 

Did you really need to bigify this shot?


Maybe if I ignore her she will stop.

Well, Pea, it truly mystifies me. When the world was covered in snow and ice, you were desperate to find even a hint of grass to use for your business and now that there has been melting, it would appear that only snow will do.

This from the woman who will only use stalls #1 or #4 in the human potty room at work. 

Huh? No, no, no, totally different. Hey, how about I take a photo of you looking labradorable.

You can try, but frankly, I'm not really in the mood.




Seasonal Poop Disorder indeed!


Dexter done!

25 comments:

  1. Too funny. We live in SoCal, so no snow, but two of my dogs, Tino & Jack both insist on pooping in the middle of a bush. If they can straddle it or back up into it, so much the better. You can just imagine how fun that is to clean up!

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    1. I once did that on a tiny ball cedar on someone's driveway...backed up and straddled the poor shrub and let 'er fly! Looked like I decorated for crappy Christmas when I was done! I was rather proud, but mama was mortified as the residents of the home were looking out the front window as she delicately removed my creation from their newly planted suburban beautification project. We did not walk on that street for 2 years after that.

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  2. Hi, Chester from Winnipeg's mom here. Thank you for putting this topic out there. Chester will not use the melted out grass until it is dried and power raked. Wet grass seems unpleasant and both Chester and his predecessor Shadow (the black lab) refused to walk on wet grass if there was any possible alternative. As for the pooping, both out labs had "travelling" poops. That is, once the poop dance was complete each piece had to be delivered to a new location via a waddling crouch walk. Chester just went in one pile for the first couple of weeks after he moved in, but then the crouch walk started to appear with him too. WHY???? On winter walks it is also necessary to travel up hill on a snowbank, turn so facing head downwards then poop, proving that indeed, "stuff" does rolls downhill. I've gotten some strange looks from people passing by when Chester performs this stunt. Sorry Chester, not trying to embarrass you, just stating facts!

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  3. OH Dexter... Poopus Interuptus .... Your momma has PASSED the point of no return here.
    WHAT is wrong with Placing the Poops on the Pinnacle of the snow PILES.. hehehee Peeps are SUCH a PAIN in the Poop Shooter.
    A couple of weeks ago... ERNIE climbed up a 4 food Snow Pile to Fire HIS Poop Shooter. OUR mom was actually Quite IMPRESSED with him.
    IF .... IF snow actually Does have a Purpose in this world... it is fur being turned YELLOW.
    Just sayin.

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  4. hahahahaha, your mom is a nut! We like to poop in snow cuz WE ARE HUSKIES and it does make mom have to dig into the snow to pick up our poop. We are just very jealous that you have snow. Does you mom know about the study about dogs need to face north when pooping? Google it, it's a riot and it explains the poop dance!

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  5. Yep...we understand, Dexter, truly we do...those banks have been peed on, pooped on a jillion times and we have to leave our mark...I will climb to the highest pivotal point to evacuate...hmm...just read the above comment from the Huskies...need to get out our iphone and check out the compass...Pawslaps, Stan Man. Don't ask Lacie about this...Mumsie wouldn't even let her read the post...too innocent, she said....

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  6. I,Fiona, prefer to poop on snow. Which is great in the middle of winter, as snowbanks are everywhere. This time of year (especially this year, as we have lost most of our snow) I will seek out snow, even if that requires that I climb up (or down) a 6 foot change in elevation to do so. Given that our leashes are only 4' long, it makes it a bit of a challenge for Mom to retrieve my poop. But that's why she wears hiking boots, right?!? Abby, on the other hand, will poop ANYWHERE. On the front porch (I will only poop there if it is covered in snow - otherwise it is too much like the hardwood floors in the house), in the middle of people's driveways (no, really), and even in the middle of the street. However, we are both all about the N-S pooping orientation (unless there is increased solar activity, in which case our compasses don't work, and we poop in whatever direction is most inconvenient for Mom). All that said, our Mom does NOT take pictures of us pooping, and has been known to crop frisbee photos in which the non-frisbee-catching dog is peeing. Something about preserving our dignity. Given the recent birthday hat/tiara photos, I don't think our Mom really understands ANYTHING about preserving our dignity...

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

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  7. How ROOOD of her to take such photos and discuss your private busyness on the intercom for all the world to see!!! It's bad enough when my parents text each other with reports about the consistency of my poop, but this is outrageous!

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    1. Hahaha Garth you made us chuckle. We thought our humans were the only two nuts that did that. They text each other the time we went potty, and who did what and what kind of issues one of us might be having. There must be lots of poo obsessed humans out there. Who knew.

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  8. Oh dears. What is with the peeps Dexter??! A doggies gotta do what a doggies gotta do, right?!
    You've gotten used to poopin' in the snow, so you poop in the snow! What's it to em'??! Geesh.
    I can't poop on wet ground. It's just my thing. Ma had to go and buy bags of new mulch when it rained cause I wasn't doin' my business on the wet stuffs, and she was gettin' annoyed. Once I had dry mulch to go on...no problemo!!
    Tell your Moms, we all gots our 'thing'....I thinks this goin' in a 'stall' is absurd...so there!!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥
    pees: Ruby'sMom here: Did you know that the first stall in a public bathroom is the cleanest? That's the one I use! lol

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  9. You better get back at her Dexter!! We also poop on snow!! You are not alone!

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  10. I can't say we are fussy - we poop anywhere - so long as it is in our back yard - we don't poop in public !

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  11. Personally, we think you are just trying to HARDEN up the poop, so she can pick it up easier. You are so considerate.....much more than her, who takes embarrassing photos.

    XXXOOO Bella & Roxy (who like TALL grass)

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  12. Oh Dexter! The mom once took pictures of me in my litterbox and posted it on the innernets. I was SO embarrassed...so I know how you feel.

    Ernie

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  13. Don't blame you one bit mate.. hey... look the other way. PLEASE...
    TIP... when yer go, GO, wipe your feet ON THE SNOW, and never ever look back, works for me LUV'S.
    Cat Flap Cavalier, besides he he he, we don't have to pick it up.... xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  14. I love doing poops on top of the higher snow piles and when the snow is disappearing, I will look for even the smallest pile of snow to drop a load. I'm very fussy about where I go, Dexter, and it drives mom and dad nuts!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch

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  15. hello dexter its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow seezunal poop disorder!!! is that eeven in the dsm??? and by dsm i meen the dog stuff manyooal of korse!!! ennyway i think wun way to treet it mite be to moov sumware wot duz not hav seezuns that is wot my mama and dada did on akkownt of my mama duz not like long kold munths with no sun!!! ok bye

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  16. Dexter for the love of Pete, is there no dignity anymore??? Must we be photographed in our most private moments?? How would your Momma feel about you taking pictures of her doing her business?? I think we should have a "Post a photo of our peeps making potty day". Let me know if you can get a hold of a camera. I will do the same.


    Loveys Sasha

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  17. OK Dex, first of all, I have stall rules as it appears your mom does too... We're just trying to understand... or better yet make you understand, humans don't like getting their tootsies cold and wet!

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  18. LOL!!!!!! That is fantastic. Dexter surely is a funny dude. :)
    I wouldn't know if any of my dogs have "seasonal poop disorder" because we are still buried under mountains of snow and trapped indoors by freezing temperatures. I'll get back to you on the verdict if we ever see grass again.

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  19. Oh the joy my mom feels when I rub my nose on the grass and she knows that's a sure sign I'm ready to do it. What would I do sans grass. I hate to wonder. But wondering is what you do best...next to that popping thing.

    Wirey love,

    JH

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  20. Peeps seem way too interested in this subject.
    Morgan, Sebastian, the Porties, Syd and Mac

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  21. Mamas...can't live with 'em, can't get treats without them! Hang in there Dexter!
    Smileys!
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

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  22. I like to find the deepest snow possible and do my poopers in that. The deeper the better. Do you know how cranky someone around here can get if she loses a shoe in there while she's scooping?
    Cammie!

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  23. I like to hang my poop on the top of shrubs and plants (get it up there high, so it can be seen)...but that is just me!

    Wyatt

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