Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Routine or Ritual (with action video)

On a daily basis, there are many tasks which Momma performs in exactly the same way. She claims that she is establishing the routine of motor memory so that when she begins to lose her wits, she'll still have the wherewithal to manage basic activities.

However, I sometimes wonder if her "routines" are more akin to rituals. For example, her routine to be sure the coffee pot is off in the morning is to not only unplug it, but actually hold the plug portion in her hand. So deeply embedded is this that if she neglects to hold the plug, a tingling of the palm accompanies her exit from the house and she is compelled to return indoors long enough to complete the ritual.

Extreme? Perhaps. But she claims that these behaviors pale when compared to the routines of yours truly. According to her, I am more superstitious than a baseball player compulsively tightening his gloves and touching his cap.

Considering her derision of my methods, it shouldn't surprise anybody that I have heretofore thwarted her attempts to make my sacred routines available to the public lest she ignorantly ridicule them, thereby removing a bit of the magic.

That said, I was a bit off my guard the other day and she actually recorded my pre-walkie ritual routine, which must be performed exactly as outlined below in order to guarantee happy making perambulations.

  1. Barkies (this alerts the human that walkie time is at hand).
  2. Mad spinning (it creates the illusion that I am INSANE for a walk, but really it's just fun).
  3. Stretching (for night walkies, always save this one until after your reflective cape is on as it will pop the belly attachment with a satisfying crackle).
  4. Roaching (this limbers up the spine so you are ready for mountainous terrain and generates a static charge allowing floor debris to accumulate in your furs for transport outdoors).

Here is an instructional video. Enjoy!

Dexter done!


  1. Good job, Dexter and Momma!


  2. OCD - Obsessive Coffeepot Disorder - we think OCD Obsessive Canine Disorder is perfect :) Merry Christmas.

  3. Our only comment is that you are LABRADORABLE, Dexter! Merry Christmas to you, your Momma and Master!

    -Bart, Ruby and Otto

  4. We can't help but wonder about the comment about when your Momma "begins to lose her wits" - this suggests that the process hasn't started yet. While there are actions that lead us to believe otherwise (Elmer Fudd hat as case-in-point) we will defer to your wisdom and knowledge on this one. ;-) The Cowspotdogs have definitely diagnosed Obsessive Coffeepot Disorder quite accurately! As for your pre-walkie routine, we think you are just loosening up before the walkie (something your Momma needs to learn to do if she's not going to go lame on you again)! We like the barking and the stretching - we save our roaching for after the walking, and the running in circles is executed by our Mom, who is trying to catch us to put on our harnesses. (Why do we run away from her? Well, she gives us treats to stand still when she does catch up with us. Duh. Human Training 101. Heehee!)

    Merry Christmas to you and your whole family, Dexter!

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

  5. Great Job, Dex!

    A great big MERRY CHRISTMAS from our pack to yours!

  6. You are too cute getting ready for your walkie. Merry Christmas to all of you.

    Millie, Walter and mom Cindy

  7. Dex! Omg! That spinning brought a mile wide smile to my face! Such athleticism! The circue du dogiel will surely pester you endlessly for a signed contract.

    I could never show you our routine. You'd have to block your dainty ears from the cracker's yips and demanding barks. And Juno, though she does have many of the polite behaviors mastered like sitting quietly by the door, won't perform them BEFORE she leaps around like a river dancer, then runs out the dog door, leaving me holding her collar, while she watches me beg through the glass door to come in. I eventually give up, turn around to put Loki's collar on, who by now is barking like a broken record. This is when she finds her opportunity to scurry noisily back in through the dog door, and tackle me on my back, both paws, like some line backer for the 49ers. You'd think by now i'd be ready for that move, but you'd be wrong.
    55 minutes ago via mobile

  8. Dexter - you and your Momma really are "creatures of habit"


  9. We have a routine, too....but not as elaborate as yours! That's.....well as Frankie and Ernie said....amazing!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  10. hello dexter its dennis the vizsla dog hay it is importent to follow a set rooteen for yore daily wurkowt yores is kwite estensiv and it luks like yoo hav got it naild!!! wel dun!!! mary krismas to yoo and yore momma and dada!!! ok bye

  11. We've never done the spinnie thing before. That's great routine you've got there, Dexter!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

  12. As pre-walkie routines go, we think yours is a pretty good one! We might add a few more barkies at the end just to make sure the Mama was awake enough :-)

    We hope you had a wonderful Christmas!!

    Merry Christmas Smileys!!
    Dory, Jakey, Bilbo and Arty

  13. I didn't know it was called roaching! I do that heaps and mum says i'm nuts. That's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black! No worries, and love, Stella (and Rory)

  14. Great routine Dexter. Not dissimilar to mine, except the spinning bit, which I am seriously considering adding 'cos it looks cool.
    Toodle pip!
    PS You should see Gail's making sure the coffee's as hot as possible ritual...

  15. We like your routine very much Dexter. We haven't done roaching before our walks but I do think that would be a good addition and make Barbara crazy at the same time. Her routines are very boring-we can always tell what she is going to do before she does it!

  16. I'm amazed - I thought that there would be a universal Labrador pre-walk ritual, but NO! Our dogs do some completely different things, and they never ever spin (but they do sometimes do the other steps). I'm going to show them your video daily, Dexter, to see if we can teach them!

    Merry Christmas!

  17. Oh, I LOVES it Dex!!! I too have a routine, and I too spin, butts it's just when Ma is tryin' to get on my walkie's fun to see her walk in circles with me!! BOL (oooo, you should put that in your routine!! Then your Moms can spin with you too!!)
    I hopes you and your family had a FABulous Christmas Dexter!!
    Ruby ♥

  18. Routines are good -

    Imagine a Virgo being owned by a Siberian - both species are very routine oriented!

    As fur the walkie prep - I tend to do a bounce or two off the door ;-)

    Nice style Pea!


  19. Hermione would like to say that you have a very big voice. :)