Sunday, November 3, 2013

Cheap Shots


Momma has developed an annoying habit of taking photos of yours truly and posting them on her Facebook with what she considers to be witty comments. Comments which she attributes to none other than me, Dexter the Wonder Dog.

It's one thing to capitalize on my labradorableness to lure traffic to her otherwise drab Facebook page. Quite another thing to misrepresent my thoughts at any point in time.

Thus, I am now going to publish this week's Black Dog photos with momma's blue italicized words and the actual captions. Ready?




Black dog has no need for more wisdom

Partially true. I'm wise enough to know that the college dining hall is right across the street
and apparently they are cooking up some BACON!






Black dog pleads with momma to consider measurement system intrinsic variance after scale at evil vet shows 4% weight gain. Fears punitive withholding of whosagooddoggie noms.

While I did go to the vet for my kennel cough and weigh in, this is really just a picture of
me standing around not thinking about anything in particular.







Black dog curbs his enthusiasm

Ha ha ha, very clever. Next time try "Black dog is disgusted that he is only doing the short parking
lot walk because momma is late for work.... again."








Black dog disturbed by rocket launcher at local church.
Fears assault on neighboring UU eminent.

I always knew the Congregationalists had it in for the UU's. 


Dexter done!

28 comments:

  1. Why, oh why do they insist on insulting us so...

    Bart, Ruby and Otto

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  2. Oh Dex, if that's all it takes to go for walkies, it's worth it mate. We know you're a smart fella. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

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  3. OMD OMD we hope that thingy doesn't harbor ill feeling about Presbyterians.

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  4. Well, I'm certainly relieved that there's no actual danger of withholding whoseagooddoggie noms.

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  5. Will those humans EVER learn that we are usually much more interesting and witty than they are???

    Hopefully this week's picture subtitles will be much more realistic!!

    Smileys!
    Dory

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  6. You are WAY more witty and interesting than your momma, Dexter!

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  7. Sure you two have different points of view!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  8. Oh Dex, I thinks you are much wittier than your Moms...butts, aren't we all??
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  9. Clearly, she isn't as fluent in Labradog as she thinks she is...

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  10. BOL this one does the same. These woman!
    Lily

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  11. Moms are easily amused

    Stop on by for a visit
    Kari
    http://dogisgodinreverse.com/

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  12. We don't know if we should BOL about your Mom or worry about her! We often don't understand our own human's wisdom

    Woofs,
    Riley and Enzo

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  13. Maybe we should all revolt and get a place of our own. You should see what my daddy made me do today! Parents!!! You are much more interesting than your mom! I mean really, if she was all that interesting why is the blog about you and not her?

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  14. So glad that you cleared all that up Dex! The truth is so much more fascinating to us. Now though our mom is heading over to your moms FB page...Hoomans are such nosey things. Bol.
    Smooches from pooches,
    BabyRD & Hootie

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  15. Dexter I appreciate your take on your Mom's mindless comments. Yours are obviously much more thought out. Perhaps you should discuss having the copyrights to your thoughts and words.


    Loveys Sasha

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  16. Hi Dexter,
    Very nice photos, although we are not sure about the comments…But I am very worried about this Facebook business. Please tell me you are not going to defect to a social media platform that is banned in my household.
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie (very worried).

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  17. We couldn't help but notice your face in every picture, Dex. You sure looked bored with this whole business! We love your new header! You don't look bored in that picture at all!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

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  18. We've got your back on Facebook; particularly with regard to the potential withholding of noms, we got all statistical on your Mom. And for the record, we think you are wise beyond your years. Also wildly patient for putting up with your Mom. But should someone warn the Unitarians? Or do they have some sort of force field for repelling attacks from neighboring churches?

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

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  19. The truth is much more fun. Hoomans just don't get IT!
    THE COUNT!

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  20. Oh, those Congregationalists! Always trying to take over the world!

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  21. ah, you are so patient with your human.......

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  22. Hmm, we think you need rewarded. Juicy bones! And a new ball maybe?

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  23. Speaking truth to power can be dangerous, so we admire your courage!!!

    Wirey woof,

    Just Harry

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  24. We know that you think deep thoughts all the time Dexter. How dare your momma just make thing up off the top of her head!

    Your friends,
    Niamh & Ambrose

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  25. hello dexter its dennis the vizsla dog oh hay wow yoo hav aksess to a rokket lawntcher??? kan i borro it??? ummm not bekuz i want to lawntch artillery at the skwirrels up on the hil that wood just be silly!!! ok bye

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  26. You lost me at "bacon" and I couldn't focus any longer.
    Our mom is FOREVER stealing our photos and posting them on FB, too. I think we should get royalties or something. Something like ... bacon. Just for instance.
    Cammie!

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