Wednesday, July 24, 2013

If it Ain't Broke...

For the five plus years of my labralife, our morning routine has been the same:

  1. 5 AM (give or take) I wake up momma.
  2. She stumbles out of bed and prepares my labrabreakfast. Yum.
  3. While I consume my foodables, momma sips her morning coffee.
  4. I take a quick trip outside to take care of any emergency functions.
  5. I digest while momma reads the paper and completes her waking up.
  6. Around 7 AM a nice, relaxed walkie.
But then momma says "Oh, Dexter, let's start a jogging program." 

Now I agree that she could use a little more exercise, but yours truly is a fine physical specimen, not in any way in need of additional exercise.

I went along with her because that's the kind of guy I am, but I thought it was a big mistake.

Slow down, crazy lady. 

But a few hours after our first jogging session, I got the barfies not once, not twice, but three times (and let me tell you, my breakfast was pretty darn good every time I snarfed it back up).

I had to put my paw down. 

"No jogging foolishness, please! This is insanity!"

I told her that if she wants to practice her running skills in case she needs to escape zombies or get away from mad dentists (is it safe?) she is free to do that on daycare days when my romping with my playmates negates the need for a stroll about the neighborhood.

And order has been restored.

We are back to our more pleasant routine of leisurely walkies with plenty of time to stop and enjoy the passing scenery. 

Is that a rabbit?

And visit with my other pals (possibly scoring noms in the process).

This is more like it.

It was a near thing, but sanity prevailed.

Dexter done!


  1. After our first couple attempts to run together, mom and I made the same decision. Mom says it's difficult enough starting a running program by herself, but trying to run with me (while I'm giving her looks like "What on earth are you doing?") was just too much. So lately she has been taking me for short walkies (because it's so hot), then going out and attempting to "run" on her own.


  2. Dex, thank doG your mentals are functioning so smartly. Momma owes you big time for putting your paw down.

    Wirey woofs,

    Jake and Just Harry

  3. Hey Dex!
    Wow, going pukie on a jog is definitely something to avoid! My Mom has a strict policy of only running if she's being chased....and then only if she really doesn't want to get caught. BOL You are totally correct that mornings are for more leisurely strolls. Zoomies later!
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

  4. Phew, I'm glad you set things straight! Momma has started training to run from zombies, but luckily she was too smart to even THINK about making me go with her. I'm a natural zombie hunter, no training necessary!

  5. So funny, Cabana eats breakfast before taking care of business, too! I can't fathom that for my own bladder. Cabana and I waffle back and forth between walking and running, but I think we both enjoy walking more than running. Running is work, walking is relaxing. It may take longer, but the way I run, it's not a huge difference anyway!

  6. The fur-girls and I wish we were neighbors. Gg would run most days, and in cooler weather, Sissy will DEMAND a run, while yours truly would prefer to never go harder than a very fast race-walk.

  7. To your human: LOL - isn't it funny when our dogs look at us like we've lost our minds when we are running??!!

    Dexter, glad that order has been restored. Way to make your point by barfing!

  8. my dogs have definitely confirmed more than once that they are sprinters, not joggers, although they've never protested via regurgitation. so i'm doing the best i can on my own to become a good runner. the dogs better hope that leaves time to work on my upper body strength so i can carry a pup under each arm as we escape the undead hordes.

  9. Of coarse your Mom could wait to give you breakfast AFTER a run - nothing to throw up then :)

  10. BOL! The only time the momma runs on a walkie is when she's dragging behind me and trying to catch up to my rabbit chasing abilities!

  11. Sometimes those Mamas just need to be shown who is the boss Dexter, the pukies was a very good training exercise...your Mama is a quick learner!!


  12. Yikes! Well, Charley and I did some running in my post today and he didn't like it either! Hope you are feeling ok.

  13. You consumed your breakfast 4 times... WOW.. You are the KING of Breakfast consumptions.
    What did your momma expect??? Surely she KNEW that you were going to find a way outta THAT INSANITY. Nice strolls are the way to go... so you can have the opportunity to STOP and SMELL the glorious SMELLS.

  14. Yeah, we hate HER walks 'cause SHE just wants to WALK! SHE hasn't got a clue what a real walk entails...sniffing, peeing possibly lunging at cats. Glad you were able to get it through to your mum.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  15. Thank goodness your momma came to her senses, Dexter! You sure don't need tummy upsets so early in the morning!

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

  16. Nice thinking on puking up your breakfast, that'll make them think twice about making us run!

  17. We're so glad you put your paw down, Dexter, and insisted you go back to your normal routine. Yakking your breakfast 3 times is just no fun.

  18. Yes, I had the same thought as Reilly and Denny. Run BEFORE breakfast. Or maybe, much more fun, go for 'walks' with Momma off lead (or leash, as I believe it is called on your side of the Pond), then YOU can run when you feel like, for example when lured by a particularly entrancing aroma, and she gets her exercise chasing after you. That way, I have often noticed, humans tend to exercise the arms and voice as well as the legs..
    Just a thought.
    Toodle pip!

  19. Howdy Dex If we went jogging the only thing that would happen would be mum throwing up and we can guarantee she wouldn't eat it again hehe. You are looking "as fit as a malley bull", to use an aussie expression so the walkies must be doing their job. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory
    P.S. We have realised too our mum is a sneaky little burger. She told us when we turned one that mature dogs NEVER wake up till well after 6 o clock. Stoopid us believed her :-(

  20. We think you have managed the situation admirably. I mean, if the DOH is being chased by zombies, there's No Way she's going to be able to keep up with you anyway, so why include you in her running from zombies training? Also, we have heard that the DOH is not always the, erm, most, ah, agile person in the world, and dog forbid she trip on an uneven piece of pavement and trip over your highly tolerant labraself. For the record, Mom used to jog with me when I was a wee pup, but luckily we returned to mountainous regions and Mom stopped jogging. And Abby? Well, let's just say moving at more than walkie speed for longer than it takes to catch a frisbee is really not in her lexicon. We've long since convinced Mom that hikes are WAY better for all parties involved. And if Mom really wants to raise her heart rate, she and Dad have those bye-sickle thingies... Good thing you've got the DOH back under control, Dexter!

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

  21. Well, Thank Dog you have restored Momma to sanity. I think those fine barfing episodes probably did the trick.

  22. Well, Holy Cow Patties!!! What the hell was your Moms thinkin'????!!!
    Joggin'???? You had a very ingenious way of puttin' an end to THAT! BOL
    Let me tell you how I did it....I would run in front of Ma and trip her!! hehehe
    Yups, after abouts the 10th time, and LOTS of HBO words, that was the end of THAT!! BOL
    Peeps....we gotta keep the sanity ~ ya know?!
    Ruby ♥
    pees: LOVES the new header!!! Very handsome!

  23. I re-started the Couch to 5k program with Vito this summer. I feed him about an hour after we run so maybe that'll help.

    Good luck on your runs, with or without the labrador!

  24. Yeesh! Sometimes I don't know where the mommas get these KERAZY ideas! Good job on the barfing. I've noticed that humans aren't terribly observant so sometimes you gotta do something big and HUMONGOUS to get them to pay attention. Barfing usually does it.

    I'm awfully glad that life is back to normal. And the next time you hear your momma say, "Dexter, you know what we oughta do?"...go ahead and barf right away.

    Wiggles & Wags,

  25. I like nice and slow walkies.

  26. Ha! ha! Dexter - that's happened to me too! :-) My human got it into her head about needing to start jogging (this was years ago, when I was about 3yrs old) and she was all ambitious and started down the street with me...thank goodness, she is useless and couldn't go 5 metres down the road without gasping and clutching her heart, feeling like she was going to pass out and her legs killing her! ;-) She has never gone "jogging" again! ;-) (Still, her normal walking speed is like most people's jogging - sheesh!)

    Anyway, glad to hear you've got your routine back to "acceptable normal" - we had a little giggle at the bit where your Momma "completes her waking up" - ha! ha!

    Honey the Great Dane

  27. hello dexter its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am glad things are bak to normal their!!! altho it is always gud to be prepayrd for the zombie apokalips remember rool number wun of zombieland is cardio!!! ok bye

  28. zombies? dentists? jogging? what is your world coming to?

  29. OMD! The look on Dexter's face in the first pic...really says it all! Come to your sense woman!!! Poor Dex!

  30. Dexter, what is Andy doing up North with you? We don't like running w/ Momma much. We like to sniff a lot.
    Andy is going to be so much trouble for running away.
    Sally Ann

  31. Yikes! That was totally scary! Glad you got momma to come to her senses!! Xo Chloe and LadyBug