Wednesday, December 26, 2012

I Get Boots (and it's not all bad)


Momma: Dexter! I bought you a present!

Me: What? I didn't think we did that whole gift exchange thing at the holidays.

Momma: Well, that's true. But remember, the rule is that if you see something that you think somebody really wants, then you can get it. No strings.

Me: Oh boy! Is it a membership in the Bacon of the Month Club?

Momma: Not exactly. Something even better.

Me: Better than bacon?

Momma: Yup, I got you BOOTS! Fido Fleece Boots to be precise.


Me: Why on earth would you think I wanted boots?

Momma: Because sometimes the road salt they use to melt snow hurts your feet. You walk like you don't want any of your feet touching the ground. That has to be uncomfortable. Tell me the truth.

Me: The truth? You can't handle the truth! Momma, we live in a world that has humans. And those humans have to be protected from their own torpidity. Who's gonna do it? You? You, momma? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep over the snow and you curse the ice. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that walking in inclement weather, while inconvenient, probably keeps your bottom from getting as wide as Lacie's. And my existence, while trying and incomprehensible to you...

Momma: WTF Dex? Were your watching "A Few Good Dogs" on Netflix again? Besides, I'm not returning them. Do you know how many pairs I went through before I found something that fit your big clown feet?

Me: Excuse me?

Momma: Besides, no boots, no walks.

Me: Blackmail for Christmas. Nice.




10 minutes later...

I hope Rocky the Shih Tzu doesn't see me. He'll tell everyone I'm a wuss.


Momma: Just start walking. You won't even know you have them on.

Me: Oh, I'll know. 


One mile later...



Me: Hey! These boots aren't half bad. Take a movie, Momma.

Momma: OK.

Me: Now POST IT! Do I have to do everything around here?

Momma: Oops. Sorry, pal, I posted it here.



Me: I have to admit, I look kind of sporty. Almost like a rugged action dog. Hey Momma, do you think R wears boots? R is my hero.

Momma: Well, Dex, I don't think they have road salt in the mountains where he lives, but I'll bet he wears boots when it is really cold and snowy.

Me: Cool. Post my photo! Post my photo!

I am a rugged adventure dog, just like R!

Momma: So did you like wearing them?

Me: I have to admit, my feet did stay nice and dry and even though I never complained, that road salt did hurt sometimes. Thanks, I love them.

Momma: Great! Because I ordered you a set of high tops for when the snow and slush is really deep. 

Me: Ruh roh.



Dexter done!

37 comments:

  1. Dexter you look very snazzy in your hikin boots! Way to go Momma :D

    Luved the tour of your estate at Christmas by the way :D And that dogtivity OMD! Fantastic! :D

    Waggin at ya,
    Roo

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  2. Dexter, you are da bomb. I like what you were saying about humans. Pity you got rudely interrupted. Any chance you might one day finish the tirade?

    I hope I never get to wear boots. Mr Thumper wore a yellow one for years (just 1, though he had 4 paws...how weird do you think he looked?). He had a sore foot. Polka?

    Anyway, we also wanted to say we love your dogtivity! The 3 kings are great! And we never knew about this "no comment" rule. I think you might be the only one who followed it.

    Hooroo! X

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  3. So furry sporty!

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra
    PeeEssWoo: So, did woo find any of those *wink wink* movies The RH had stashed away in his room so The DOH wouldn't find 'em? I think one was Beastie Khovers Da Burgh - just sayin'
    PeePeeEssWoo: No doubt R is your heRo and Role model!

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  4. Dexter - you just like those long distance mushing dogs in your sporty boots! And someone was having lots of fun with the video editing. It cracked us up.

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  5. OMD Dexter. You were steppin to the MUSIC.. EVEN the Polka. NICE MOVES.
    Thanks fur the Estate Tour. We always look forward to seeing the Dogtivity. Butt I do fear the increase in BIRDS may cause your momma to FLOCK to Various Stores to purchase MORE... That is how it started with my mom... just a FEW... and then SnowFreak Madness set in. Keep an eye on her buddy.

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  6. Dex....I thinks you looks purrrty cool wit dem dere booties! Wonder if dey work on burrs too.

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  7. We like the last bit of music that you approved. Good taste, Dexter!

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  8. Well, boots are better than the grooming stuff Mom got for 'us'. (Really, Mom? How could implements of torture POSSIBLY be gifts for us?) At least you look like an action hero and are now able to go on walkies in rain, sleet, snow and gloom of night! However, given the video editing, we think the DOH might have a little too much time on her hands...

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

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  9. Very nice! I've pondered them for the fur-girls, but Gg doesn't do icky - and by icky I mean falling winter stuff or even a hard summer rain - so the chances of her wee paws getting salty are slim. Sis has shown no signs of caring thus far...

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  10. Dex, you look super cool in your boots! I loved the video too.

    Millie

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  11. You DO look dashing and handsome! I've never had to wear boots, but we hardly ever get snow and don't have salt out anyway. But your movie is grreat!

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  12. So the boots were a hit? I've often thought about them for Sampson and Delilah, because sometimes they get ice between their toes. But then I think, damn that's one more thing I have to do to get ready for the walk! LOL And I love WTF....

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  13. Just tell everyone they are biker boots. Then they won't mess with you
    Benny & Lily

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  14. Loved your video!!!!! Classic!!! Your mom person is so clever.

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  15. Way to go Mom and Dex (for keeping your booties on) ......gwoof gawoof - dex is wearing booties!!!! Hey but where was your coat.....you should at least having a nice matching coat maybe one with bright orange stripes for safety. Great video too - you are the dude!

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  16. Those booties look good on you, Dexter. We also enjoyed watching the video.
    A blessed Christmas to you and your family!

    Love,
    the Piappies - Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Max, Wai-Pai & Forgie

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  17. Oh, you look totally cool, Dex! You know, a lot of the pups who run the Iditarod wear booties - and they're rough and tumble outdoorsy guys and gals! Real tough athletes! So you're in good company.
    Play bows,
    Zim

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  18. They do look very sporty, Dexter. They totally suit you! We were expecting to see you high-steppin' it in your video but you're past that. You took to this boots wonderfully!

    Love ya lots,
    Mitch and Molly

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  19. Wowzers! They stayed on you and you are trotting briskly - very impressive! We like your bandana lots too! (oh - and the music also!)
    xxxx
    Sammie and Avalon

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  20. Gosh it's so underappreciated, our role in keeping our Mom's backsides from getting as wide as a certain Beastie's...
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

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  21. Dex, dude...we totally thought we weere watching a video of R - except we don't think we've ever seen a video or R...You look totally cool. We noticed some treats were involved...turkey hot dogs??

    -Bart and Ruby

    these boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do...one of these days...lalalalala...oh sorry. -Ruby

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  22. Dexter, I thinks they're FABulous!! Really sporty and rugged. And, your Moms is right, much better than havin' sore feeties!

    Kisses,
    Ruby

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  23. Stylish, yet functional. The good news is your Mum did not get some freaky color like pink. When she goes off on the shopping trips, is she drinking? Does she come back with strange things or is this normal? Cooper wants a pair to go with his new monkey sweater (I'll post that later this week) but I would not be caught dead in anything other than Swedish clogs or British sandals. Dexter you need to regain the power in your relationship, do not be bribed so easily. You should have gotten at least a slab of bacon for wearing those things!

    Dozer

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  24. Dexter, you and your mom had me rolling in the aisles. :)

    You are totally looking awesomely sporting in your boots. And you walked incredibly well in them! Every dog I've ever seen in the boots does a kind of wet-footed cat-like dance in them. You da' man, Dex! Glad your feet will stay soft and not sore, too.

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  25. Dexter,

    Don't you look smashing! You could model for REI or LL Bean.
    You should send them your movie. I bet you could get a catalog gig.

    Wyatt

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  26. Hey Labradude! R does wear boots. When it gets down to around -10, the dogs can't walk without them.

    I wish that your mom had posted a video of the part where you first tried to walk while wearing boots. I bet it was hysterical! Love the polka!

    I think that the man crush is mutual. A few days ago, I made my R Calendar for 2013, and R made me title it "R, The Wonder Dog"!

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  27. Hey Dexter, My Vickie tried to make me wear those and I put on such a show that she gave up. Now thanks to you, I think we are gonna have to try the whole "walking in boots" thing again.

    However, you have given me new hope that it isn't as bad as I thought.

    Bert

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  28. Those boots were made for walking..or dancing..loved your polka moves!
    ~Winston~

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  29. Dexter, you do look very handsome and very dapper in those boots. I get bad ouchies from that stupid salt and then I hold up my paws and cry. Then my Daddy has to carry me home. I hope the boots help you so you don't get bad ouchies.

    Loveys Sasha

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  30. Hey Dexter - Just wanted to wish you a belated Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

    I really enjoyed the "festive tour of your estate" - especially since we have had NOTHING Christmassy this year coz my humans just wanted to have some "quiet time" after the chaos of our lives recently - and also coz Hsin-Yi has to start boxing everything up in a week's time! But I got to enjoy Christmas through you! And your snow too...am always sooooo jealous of the snow!

    Slobbers,
    Honey the Great Dane

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  31. Hey Dexter, i think you look like a movie star dog with those boots on, no ones gonna mess with you, hope you had a VERY merry christmas :D
    Love Milo :)

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  32. Howdy Dex, we think the Polka suited your clown feet more but Ruby from Rottrover cracked us up with her singing of Nancy Sinatra.
    The boots make you look like you have attitude Dex. Always a cool thing.
    No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

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  33. Nice! Glad you found ones that stay on too!

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  34. Grandpa mentioned boots for us to Mom the other day. Yikes!

    Dexter, I noticed you weren't doing the high stepping thing in your new boots. How do you walk normally with them on your feets? I've never gotten the hang of it.

    I was hoping Mom would forget about the whole boot thing, but since your post has caught her attention I'm afraid of what her next internet order will be.

    Emma

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  35. You are one stylin' dude, Dex. Jed has to wear rear feet booties when it's wet, to protect his rear leg bandages, but they're just plastic IV bags converted into paw coverings and aren't nearly as comfy as yours. But it doesn't take too long to get used to walking normally in them, does it? How high are your Serious Snow booties on your legs?

    Sounds like you and R have a Lab-Bromance going :) You're both great guys, so we're all in favor!

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  36. OMD Dexter...we don't think you look like a wuss at all!! In fact I think those boots look very handsome on you!!!

    ...and Mama says thanks for showing the cool video. She has been thinking of getting us booties, but wasn't sure how we'd react...but now that we see how comfy and rugged you are walking in them she thinks it may be time to invest!!

    Smileys!
    Dory (and her pack)

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