Monday, December 10, 2012

A New Pal and Commentary on Commentary

I want to introduce to you one of my newest blogging pals. Her name is Georgia Little Pea. Isn't she lovely? She lives in the mythical land of Australia. I have several friends who claim to live in that same location. I'm not quite sure where they actually reside. Possibly somewhere outside the Rt. 495 force field. 

Please stop by and give Georgia a big old DWB howdy do. You can visit her here

Now on to the topic of Momma's blue, italicized post of the other day. While she was quite appreciative of all your comments, I, for one, was slightly perturbed when she took the opportunity of posting her Mango gifts to lament her decidedly limited ability to transcribe my words.

It is not easy for an erudite chap such as yours truly to be saddled with a secretary whose vocabulary tends towards HBO words and meaningless exclamatories. 

Take, for example, our recent exchange regarding captioning a walkie photo.

Momma: Oh Dexter, what shall we caption this photo?

Me: I suggest "Acquiescent canine demonstrates extreme imperturbability when asked to assume pose."

Momma: Imperta what what what? WTF did you just say?

Me: Just type it.

Momma: Maybe you meant "Check out this big dude. Good thing he's chained up or he would take off like a total giant nightmare holiday terror."

Me: It is an inanimate object, foolish woman. Let's try to get past this whole pretending thing and stick with reality.

Momma: Who're you calling foolish? I have THUMBS, you know! Besides your readers love to see you posed with the soldier every year. They've been all begging for it.

Me: Which readers might those be?

Momma: All of them! Like 87 thousand. Totally. I HAD to take that photo.

Me: Post it if you must. I'll be listening to the BBC when you're done.

Momma: Yeah, that's right, run away. Leave the blogging to me. I don't think like a lab, you know. It isn't easy to read your thoughts.

And so, friends, we have the photo itself (captioned by momma).

Black dog with absurdly large holiday decoration (which might emit a gigantic
fart at any moment therein which melting its chains and freeing
it to crush said black dog and terrorize our little village).

Dexter done!


  1. Dawling Dextew,
    You must be patient wif hoomans, dog knows I have leawned the hawd way. I of couwse undewstand you pawfectly and hehehehe, enjoy yoow Mama's hooman fwustwashun too
    They love to take embawwasing and silly pictoowes of us and since we love them, we put up wif it.
    I love yoow headew and that hooge soldiew is just begging fow you to lift yoow leggies on himself
    Smoochie kisses

  2. OMD, I knows Miss Georgia Little Pea and her is HILARIOUS! Loves her!

    Nows, I understand what your mom has been goin' through and we is always heres whenever hers is up to bloggin'. It's prolly hard fur hers to come up withs stuffs afters doin' Mango fur so long. Just has patience withs her until then. But we loves you and likes to read bout you too.

    Dat is one freakishly LARGE soldier thingy.

    PS: I loves your mom's HBO rants.

  3. Oh Dexter! I am gobsmacked by this! THANK YOU, and to Mango Momma too. Your vocabulary never ceases to amaze me. If you carry on like this, you will give the rest of us normal dogs a complex. You realise that, right? (Nod your head if you acquiesce.)

    Can I tell you something else? The Typist was falling asleep on the potty (which is where she normally reads blogs) when she saw this post and ME looking at her. You almost gave her a heart attack!

    Hooroo! Your friend, Georgia Little Pea from the mythical land of Oz somewhere south of the equator, north of Antarctica and not to be confused with Austria ;) X

  4. Mango didn't have much lukhk with The Evil Witch of a DOH either

    Paws khrossed fur woo

    PeeEssWoo: furry nice paw work above!

  5. Dex, you look bored. Decor not big enough for you? Hahaha.

  6. Dexter, tis I. Your friend and commiserator-in-kind, Ranger. I, for one, am pleased that you made this post. I, too, deal with these frustrations with my mother when it is my turn at the keyboard. Of course, since I don't have thumbs (humans are ridiculously proud of that particular appendage, aren't they?), I must put up with the frustration of dictating AND explaining my posts at the same time. Why do you think I so rarely blog? It is exhausting. You have my never-ending admiration - and deepest sympathy - for undertaking such a monumental task on a regular basis.

    I wish you good day and good biscuits,

    P.S. My mother thought the exchange between you and yours was hysterical. Sigh. What does this tell you about what I have to put up with?

  7. Oh Dexter! These humans, what will we do with them?

    PS - Mom went nuts over your photo. Sometimes, we just have to make the peeps happy.


  8. Dear Dexter Dude:

    It is difficult to understand the inability of some humans to comprehend the intricacies of a doggie mind.

    Also, humans are difficult to motivate (although food often works) and since they are the ones with thumbs, they labor under the impression that they are in charge.

    While we know this is not based in fact, it is safer to humor them, or they begin to withhold treats and scraps. And in this season of many holidays, that is not desirable.

    We do like that large and handsome soldier, and second the idea that you pee on it next time.

    Oh, and are you SURE your Mom was saying WTF all the time. I thought she was invoking the power of the WFT and just slightly dyslexic. ;)


  9. I can practically guarantee that if you PEE on that soldier, your Mom will be plastering it all over the InnerNut!


  10. It's hard what we have to deal with sometimes, isn't it?!

  11. That was hilarious! You are Dexter Momma indeed.

  12. Dexter, you and your momma always make me laugh. Keep working on her and I'm sure she will be able to type what you dictate without too much trouble.


  13. Oh my word Dexter!! How terrifying. Notice she isn't posing with the monster
    Benny & Lily

  14. Dearest Gentleman Dexter Sir,

    I love you.

    Pardon my forward declaration, but I feel your pain. I am blessed with a mother generally capable of proper English, but I am cursed with the completely uninhibited, uncouth Sissy DIVA. Why yes, I am utterly devoted to her, but you saw that blog post last week... Hem. She's no lady, my sister. Best of luck to you.

    Gretchen Greer

  15. Love your header pic, Dexter. Just remember that the big ball is not for playing fetch:)

    That big soldier sure is BIG. Maybe even Relentlessly Huge:) Watch out for that gas, could be sent from you know who.

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

  16. Poor Pea- looks like you are back to posing with giants that make you look small! Like your christmas photo where you had that giant ornament next to you! You definitely need to find smaller things to be photoed with. Maybe a mini christmas tree or a lil doggie of some kind...

  17. For the record, we did NOT request a photo of you posing next to some creepy golem thingy (and not Gollum as in Lord of the Rings, although an erudite chap such as yourself would know this - we provide this clarification for the benefit of the DOH, who is wondering why we are talking about our 'Precioussss'). And honestly, we know there is NO WAY the DOH could possibly capture the thoughts running through your brain. Just remember that she tuned her brain to 'Mango-talk' so it's like going from talking to a 3 year old to presenting your Ph.D. defense. So cut the old lady some slack - I mean, she wears Elmer Fudd hats, for heaven's sake!

    BTW, we're still pondering the DOH's comment that's she's not foolish because she has thumbs. Non sequitur comments like that no doubt make you question why you associate with such noddleheads. But we admire your patience and perseverance!

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

  18. So pleased that you listen to the BBC Dexter. Perhaps you could encourage Momma to do the same.
    Toodle pip!

  19. Oh Dex! How freakin' humiliating! You look so embarrassed! We suggest a series of you posed by small stuff so for once you don't look like a pea. Sheesh. Humans.

    -Bart and Ruby

  20. Just think TREATS.....put the rest of it out of your mind....we are so handicapped by the thumbs thing. So relax, take a deep breath and think TREATS.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy

  21. Good thing that guy's inanimate, or you might be a holiday snack, Dex!

  22. Gee WHIZ... you should've PEEd on that """THINGY"""
    Training Peeps... in OUR WAYS ... is a very much Time Consuming and Difficult Task. Of course there are times when we must allow them to just be... Peeps. That is always rather amusing to observe. THEY do love to allow their Inner BEINGS to romp and RANT. Naturally we must LIMIT those times... or they tend to REVERT to their Boring Selves. We are simply saying.

  23. Oh Dex, don't worry that your momma doesn't think like a lab and can't read your thoughts; I wonder how many mommas can think properly for themselves and read their own thoughts as well. Just sayin'


  24. Howdy Dexter, jeez mate, if you continue on with the big words, mum will have to have the Dictionary alongside the 'puter just so we know WTF you're talking about. Did you pee on the soldier's leg?
    No worries, and love, Stella and Rory
    P.S. We know Georgia too but she lives a long way away from us.

  25. You definitely should have peed on it. That would have shown her!!
    xoxo Chloe and LadyBug

  26. Woo, Dex! Zim and I have seen a lot of soldiers in our days, but none THAT tall! He must be a guard at the Giant's castle or something!

  27. Mr. Dexter, Sir

    While our 2-legs slave has a similar deficiency in adequately expressing our erudite exceptionalism, she does think that your momma's prior commentaries on your agilities and search-and-rescue and other trainings were most interesting. We especially enjoyed the inflatable jellybean and the searching-training videos.

    We are certain that once your momma feels better and starts working out with you again, the blog-muse-fairy will settle on her head again.

    Best Regards,

    Kili. THE cat.

  28. There may never be a blog quite as imaginative as Mango's, but whatever shape Dexter's blog takes will be enjoyed by all
    I also think there is surely a book to be written about The Relentlessly Huge...
    Since the loss of my last red golden 2 yrs ago, and still dogless, I have found great comfort in the daily tales and pics posted on the dog blogs. Mango's especially made me laugh (and cry,). And while I am partial to the reds (Sam n Monty, Finn, etc,) because I see my sweeties in their faces, I also love the Labs n Sibes, etc So keep writing Dexter's Momma....I want to know more about what makes Dexter.,,,Dexter!!

    Penny's Mumma

  29. I think your mama did a good job of capturing both her voice and your voice in the capshon. Also not to worry, for my ex-roommate/kind-of-cousin/annoying nemesis Gretchen is half dachshund, half lab, and I no has a clue what ever she is thinking. Although probably it involves chasing moles.


  30. I would be worried about it farting too!

    Nubbin wiggles,

  31. I think that Dexter went to Harvard! Show off!

  32. We are not acquainted with Georgia Little Pea and will hasten to introduce ourselves. Thanks for the heads-up!

    We advise just being patient with the DOH. Quite apart from the practical consideration that she hunts down your kibble and hauls it home and fills your food bowl at least twice a day, it would be a mitzvah because she and Master are still in mourning for Mango and it's just going to take some time for them to come to terms with the new 'normal' at your house. You can use the time profitably to read some of Momma's books and even take some of those free university level courses online, thus continuing the enrichment of your vocabulary. And Momma promised in writing on your blog to up your activities: more training, more walkies, maybe some enhanced agility. Your world is blossoming, Dex. Hang in there.

  33. Holy dogs Dexter, you are one smart dude! I do hope that guy didn't take a giant dump on you.

    Loveys Sasha

  34. Wow! Dexter must be a grad of Labrabor University.....but I think your Mama said it best..............

  35. Wow, Now that's a big dude.

    Sniff ya later......Weenie

  36. I have to give you credit where credit is due, Dexter, because if if were Daisy (if she could walk well) or any of my pet sitting clients they would run away from the soldier! You, my friend, are very patient! I have to confess that I love the photo!
    Thanks for wishing Daisy well! She's on the mend!

  37. Wow are handsome AND smart!!!

    Also VERY patient as that is one very scary dude you are sitting next to!!


    PS...I received your card today and did NOT share it with my brothers...I am putting it in a secret place where they can NOT find it!

  38. Is that a gun that soldier is holding or is he just happy to see you? I know you're happy being an only dog and all, but isn't it odd that you happen to be sitting beside a mango-sized lipstick? I just call 'em as I see 'me Dex...

    Now about the BBC...

  39. Hello there i'm Milo, that is one bog soldier!! WOWZA!!
    Milo :)

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